posted by Greg Nog (106 comments total) 59 users marked this as a favorite
- No Thanks I Only Do Drugs Meme
- No Thanks I' M Just Looking Pdf free. download full
- No Thanks I'm Good
- No Thanks I Choose My Own Destiny
- Uber No Thanks I'll Walk
If you hear “No, thanks” / “Not interested” or “We’re all set (click)” on a regular basis (and I mean on a daily/weekly basis) that is your clue that your opener is missing the mark and is in need of some help. – Michael Pedone – Michael Pedone. Michael Pedone teaches inside sales teams how to pick up the phone and close business. No thanks, I'll take the real world. Tue, Nov 02, 2021 - 5:50 AM. UPDATED Tue, Nov 02, 2021 - 5:50 AM. JUST call me an old man, a troglodyte, a. Download Free PDF. Express Publishing. Download Download PDF. Full PDF Package Download Full PDF Package. A short summary of this paper. 0 Full PDFs related to this paper. Answers for No thanks, I already /23374 crossword clue. Search for crossword clues found in the Daily Celebrity, NY Times, Daily Mirror, Telegraph and major publications. Find clues for No thanks, I already /23374 or most any crossword answer or clues for crossword answers.
posted by Fizz at 7:34 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by notyou at 7:37 AM on March 26, 2016 [53 favorites]
posted by LastOfHisKind at 7:39 AM on March 26, 2016 [23 favorites]
I still felt like a monster, though.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:40 AM on March 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by schmod at 7:41 AM on March 26, 2016 [20 favorites]
posted by frogmanjack at 7:47 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by neroli at 7:56 AM on March 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by neroli at 8:00 AM on March 26, 2016 [59 favorites]
Now I see it's some kind of marketing trend.
posted by not that girl at 8:10 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by ejs at 8:12 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Bistle at 8:14 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by uncleozzy at 8:15 AM on March 26, 2016 [70 favorites]
posted by Greg Nog at 8:22 AM on March 26, 2016 [35 favorites]
I think they mean that the company is trying to shame you into coughing up the cash. The only other exit they leave you is something like 'No, thanks. I'm a stupid loser doomed to a sad extinction and that's really all a person of my class deserves.'
posted by pracowity at 8:22 AM on March 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Bistle at 8:25 AM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by bukvich at 8:26 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:32 AM on March 26, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 8:33 AM on March 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by valkane at 8:35 AM on March 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:35 AM on March 26, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 8:38 AM on March 26, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by Chitownfats at 8:43 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:45 AM on March 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 9:02 AM on March 26, 2016 [19 favorites]
Oh good, I'm glad me and my weird friends aren't the only ones who find the If You Care line of baking products hilarious.
Large Baking Cups
if you even CARE
Large Baking Cups
if anything I'm saying is even registering
because I went to a lot of trouble
to make them unbleached and chlorine free for you
Large Baking Cups: you know what, forget it.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:03 AM on March 26, 2016 [54 favorites]
No thanks, I'd rather find out how these cats got wedged into these scanners.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 9:11 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:13 AM on March 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 9:16 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Elly Vortex at 9:19 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:21 AM on March 26, 2016 [37 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 9:27 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:29 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
[ ] swipe loyalty card
[ ] continue without loyalty
posted by straight at 9:35 AM on March 26, 2016 [62 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 9:39 AM on March 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
Needless to say, all these tricks were used. Big shiny button for the call to action. Small sad link for the no thanks. I guess it harks back to the 'pay for realplayer pro?' Days.
Anyways, sorry for building those annoying games. 'It seemed like a good idea at the time'.
Of course all companies do this to some degree. Amazon makes the 'yes buy this button' big and gold, and the 'well, maybe I'll browse around some more' small and unobtrusive.
posted by Phredward at 9:49 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Broker(yelling into phone): 'You want me to take you off my list? Fine! I'll take you off my list of successful people today!'
posted by dr_dank at 9:59 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
Ooooh, I just now understood why they do this. It always puzzled me, since I would often remember something else I wanted to shop for after I had gone to my shopping cart and I was honestly confounded that Amazon didn't want to give me an easy link to go find more stuff to buy. But of course you're right — they had me on the hook for $XX and obviously had data showing it was more important to close that sale than to encourage me to do more browsing and possibly forget about my shopping cart altogether.
posted by Mothlight at 10:05 AM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Having read the tumblr, a few of these are rude / funny enough that they MUST be knowingly playing on the more prosaic ones, right?
posted by ominous_paws at 10:10 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by indubitable at 10:13 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:20 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:22 AM on March 26, 2016 [20 favorites]
Then, when you click the submit button, you immediately get an error page that says the request couldn't be processed, and would you please contact Customer Service to discuss your needs.
Uh, huh. Of course, when you call the CS number, you get a Retention Specialist.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:23 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
( ) I am a terrible worthless excuse for a human being, who is about to click the wrong option.
posted by idiopath at 10:33 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Next up: monetizing the old 'chase the damned exit button around the page with your cursor' trick, followed by the 'disappear the exit button so your click falls through to the BUY NOW button ...'
posted by hank at 10:37 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:44 AM on March 26, 2016 [12 favorites]
'No, you've got negging in my passive-agressiveness.'
posted by benito.strauss at 10:54 AM on March 26, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by I-Write-Essays at 11:01 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Ms. Next at 11:10 AM on March 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Existential Dread at 11:49 AM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
Dogs have fleas,
Dave is broke,
So register please!
posted by sallybrown at 12:04 PM on March 26, 2016 [14 favorites]
There's a reason that solving the 'cart abandonment' problem is a thing there are entire businesses dedicated to.
posted by primethyme at 12:13 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by bongo_x at 12:16 PM on March 26, 2016 [40 favorites]
* Annoyances list
posted by RogerB at 12:25 PM on March 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
No Thanks I Only Do Drugs Meme
posted by kirkaracha at 12:26 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by bukvich at 12:29 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by emptythought at 12:31 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yep. And then you have to spend the time figuring out how to close the damn thing. Unless it's something I super, duper want to look at I mostly just close the window and move on now. I don't mind the sites where after you've been there for a bit that sort of window slides out from the bottom. I'm okay with that. It's more a polite 'oh hey I see your here so there must be something holding you're interest. Would you like this now?'
It's like the difference between going into a store and having the sales people allow you a bit to get comfortable and sales people waiting at the door and jumping in front of you 'So you walked in. YOU WANT TO BUY SOMETHING NOW! RIGHT RIGHT?'
posted by Jalliah at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by Taft at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
AdBlock Options → Filter Lists → ☑ Fanboy's Annoyances
posted by RogerB at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by arnoldsnarb at 12:50 PM on March 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Firefox does not like Fanboy for some reason. It's listed but when I click to add it I get this error message:
Firefox doesn't know how to open this address, because one of the following protocols (abp) isn't associated with any program or is not allowed in this context.
This is a very minor detail because the sites I visit on chrome seem to be the ones with the pop-up crap.
posted by bukvich at 1:01 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:13 PM on March 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by bongo_x at 1:17 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by KGMoney at 1:21 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Kattullus at 2:29 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by DreamerFi at 2:44 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ber at 2:59 PM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
“I don’t want funny stories in my inbox.”
“No thanks, I don’t care about the future.”
“I never want to exchange referrals with professionals I know.”
“No thanks, I don’t enjoy long, luscious, clump-free lashes.”
“No thanks, I have no interest in what the ‘Tantric Yab-Yum’ position is.”
“No, I don’t want to be cool”
posted by straight at 3:01 PM on March 26, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by rubber duck at 3:19 PM on March 26, 2016
Hmm, I doubt I'll switch over from the Family Dollar house brand, No More Fucks
posted by threeants at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
Aha, found it!
Their site renders like this on mobile so I guess they can't be accused of having a passive-aggressive ad approach.
posted by Karaage at 3:53 PM on March 26, 2016
People seem to be convinced that there is some kind of legal requirement to have these things. I have no idea where it comes from.
posted by beerperson at 4:05 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
So yeah, marketers have gotten very knowledgeable about whether the payoff of alienating a donorbase/customer. Apparently, these guys are short term enough that they aren't concerned with the long term perceived benevolence of the company.
Short term $$. If ever there was a 'lean' six Sigma mentality handed over by consultants rather than someone steering for the long view of the company...
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:23 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by autopilot at 5:23 PM on March 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
In my experience, pressing Esc works about 75% of the time. Of course, this assumes your browser has a keyboard attached.
posted by brett at 6:48 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Dalton Luceria at 7:12 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by maxwelton at 7:15 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by marienbad at 7:18 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by Rhomboid at 7:19 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
No thanks, I'll pay full price.
No thanks, I'm actually shopping somewhere else now.
posted by SpacemanStix at 7:20 PM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Isn't this also an example of begging the question (not in the popular sense, i.e., 'This leads us to ask'), but in the sense we're being asked to proceed on a conclusion that hasn't been proved?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:42 PM on March 26, 2016
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:19 PM on March 26, 2016
My sense is that the reason that the ads work (in part) is that they often try to set up a false dilemma, as if it's an either-or, and we respond to that dichotomy by clicking on the thing that seems better, even though there's a third option. The dichotomy hinges on something that would make us feel better or worse, if we do or do not act upon it. It ignores the other reasonable (and sometimes better) alternate possibilities. It's not exactly lying, but it's slight of hand that wants you to ignore what's behind door number three.
'Get on the List' or 'No thanks, I don't want to save this season.'
But I can actually save money via other means!
'Show Me 14 Simple Dinners' vs 'No thanks, I'll have a microwave dinner tonight.'
Actually, I'm going out for a steak dinner with friends!
So, even though we aren't dummies, I wonder if the reason it grabs onto a higher percentage of click-throughs is that there is a microsecond of contemplation that makes you wonder if you are making the worse of two options, when really there are more options than that. So I'm sure it catches more than the average number of impressions from people who just say what the heck, I'll do it. And, it's all done in a condescending way that taps into some primitive form of guilt or shame, so it actually feels more positive to make the 'better' of the 'two' decisions.
'No thanks, I already have a bikini body.'
Or how about I'm not quite into your standard of beauty such that I'm overly worrying about how I look, but thanks.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:34 PM on March 26, 2016
In a day when I'm often closing an unknown website if it takes more than a few seconds to load, making me look for an evasive 'close' button for more than five seconds on an ad that pops up as soon as I get there is a death sentence for our potential relationship.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:47 PM on March 26, 2016
You'd have to define 'lucrative.' Here are a few things you can do with newsletter subscriptions:
- Use subscriptions as a predictive tool for your sales team.
- Generate clicks on links to converting content on a web property, which is to say content that moves a potential customer closer to making a favorable purchasing decision (or divulging more personal information to better target them).
- Use the names on your list to send more targeted 'blasts' with stronger calls to action than a weekly newsletter might have.
- Sell the names on your list to people who will use them to do the previous two items
- Sell space in your newsletter to people who will use that space to try to sell stuff.
I can't give you numbers, but having worked marketing in a B2B tech company I can tell you that when our analyst went through the list of potential customer actions that indicated a stronger chance of conversion, newsletter subscriptions were right up there as a leading indicator. Downloading white papers and case studies, by contrast, were trailing indicators. That didn't mean the newsletter made sales happen, but it did help us model which prospects/opportunities were a more valuable use of our sales team's time.
posted by mph at 9:33 PM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 11:14 PM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by MexicanYenta at 11:45 PM on March 26, 2016
Lesson: recency works the other way too!
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:41 AM on March 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by ecsh at 4:24 AM on March 27, 2016
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 5:24 AM on March 27, 2016
99% of all people won't like this!
posted by yhbc at 7:56 AM on March 27, 2016
posted by nev at 8:21 AM on March 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
Great, now you're mocking my house!
posted by boilermonster at 9:40 AM on March 27, 2016
posted by notned at 9:48 AM on March 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
And it made me so mad, I actually said, 'NO.' Which is absolutely not true, but what a fucked up question. I'm still mad, ten years later.
Anyway, most of these are pretty eyerolley, in comparison.
posted by Omnomnom at 11:44 AM on March 27, 2016 [5 favorites]
And it made me so mad, I actually said, 'NO.' Which is absolutely not true....
Once, when walking through San Francisco with a friend, we were approached by folks representing a literal save-the-whales group. When we politely declined, we got hit with 'Don't you like the whales?'
'Of course! FOR DINNER!' my friend said.
She's vegan. But she really, really, REALLY hates street marketing.
posted by aureliobuendia at 1:27 PM on March 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
Do you like COMEDY
posted by Greg Nog at 7:47 PM on March 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by lollusc at 3:30 AM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by aubilenon at 4:29 PM on March 29, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Existential Dread at 2:49 PM on March 26 [4 favorites +] [!] No other comments.
posted by Melismata at 11:00 AM on March 30, 2016
posted by Greg Nog at 5:48 PM on March 30, 2016
posted by TedW at 7:37 AM on April 4, 2016
The Beavis and Butthead Experience was a formative album in my younger years. Not sure what that says about me.
Seriously. Nirvana, Anthrax covering Beasties, White Zombie's only good song, Primus' Poetry and Prose. Great record.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:38 AM on April 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 10:26 AM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wish I had thought of this when the thread was still active but I'll enter it now for the public record. Some of the best 'No Thanks' is to be found in the mailings aimed at people who are both gullible and conservative. My absolute favorite was: 'No I will not donate because I support the establishment of Sharia law in the United States and the forced conversion of Christians.' I checked the box and sent it off using the postage paid envelope.
An older man in my family was getting a ton of such mail. We had to take over his mail&phone to keep him from blowing his life savings while he was losing his mind. I took great pleasure in supporting Sharia law as my fuck you to this one fear-mongering group. There were others in which I indicated my support for mandatory abortions, open borders with Mexico, and disarming America as we allowed the UN to take over.
posted by honestcoyote at 3:05 PM on April 11, 2016 [11 favorites]
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M$N M€$$€ng€r version $.0November 26, 2002
I am really, really, really tired of the popups...July 11, 2001
Psycho ex-girlfriend is a hoax!March 30, 2001
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See a Problem?
Preview — No, Thanks! I'm Quite Happy Standing! by Virginia Ironside
(Marie Sharp #4)
No Thanks I' M Just Looking Pdf free. download full
Marie is turning 69 this year, but there are no signs of her slowing down - she has a new male lodger (very into conspiracy theories), an intractable iPhone to wrestle with, and a trip to India to plan!
As usual the year brings plenty of challenges as well as opportunities. Marie is burgled, which sends the street into uproar. Ex-husand David is still around and getting rat...more
Be the first to ask a question about No, Thanks! I'm Quite Happy Standing!
The story is really a diary, the gentle goings on and ramblings of a woman approaching seventy. It is very British and helps if you know London, but if you don't the amusing antics of Marie and her friends will still make you smile. The trip to India really made me laugh.
If you are looking for amusing, light-hearted reading, a comfy book for bedtime ...more
This has a wonderfully realistic feel to it as it embraces the reality of ageing in a gently humorous way, mingled with the inevitable pathos, misunderstandings and irrelevancies that turn out to matter which litters everyone's life, but maybe grow in significance as we age. Marie Sharp is over the hill but far from ready to give in to that and has a lot going on with a new lodger who is into New Age therapies and conspiracy theories, an ex who seems to...more
Jan 30, 2019
No Thanks I'm Good
Jan 07, 2017
Jun 26, 2021
May 18, 2020